I think before I fully commit myself to be an actor, I need to clarify with myself first why I want to be an actress and why I like acting. If I can’t answer these questions to myself as truthfully as it can be maybe it isn’t the right job for me anyway. Consequently, how am I gonna prove to others that I am an actor who is truly passionate about her art & craft and loves what she does?, and who’s gonna believe me anyway if I don’t believe it myself? I like acting is because I get the opportunity to put myself in someone else’s shoes or story and portray it or tell the story as believably as possible in my own artistic way. I get to entertain people in a creative way. The true reward I get and the affirmation why I love what I do and my ability to act and entertain, is when I see the recognition on the faces of the audience and the good reviews or comments I receive, which also motivates me to keep going.
I feel satisfied in some way after having been acted. It’s just indescribable. Being on stage or on screen and act my heart out is what I want to do in my life more than anything else. Otherwise, I would have given up a long time ago. I started my acting career in 2004 when I went to film school in Denmark to study filmmaking, which had nothing to do with acting – well, at some levels. But then my interest in acting began to manifest itself while I was running around and making films with others. I always knew I wanted to become an actor since I was young. But the public misconception, at that time or even now, about acting career that it is just a dream – no artiste really makes a living and makes their dreams come true because it is difficult.
I then gave up the idea and forgot all about becoming an actress, not until I went to film school in Copenhagen in 2004 and started discovering my long-lost dream that I want to become an actor so bad – really bad. Sometimes, you take a new path in life or make a choice that leads you to something completely different or helps you discover something you have forgotten. And the same with me with the film school. If I didn’t attend the film school in Copenhagen in 2004 I would, probably, be doing something else now and I would, perhaps, get bored to death.
And funny enough, I did ask my ex before why he wanted to become a musician and why he couldn’t imagine himself doing something else, he replied: “Every time I turn around and look at the stage, my guitars, and all the music gear, I know I am in the right place. I can’t just walk away from it. This is what I want to be and do for the rest of my life.” His answer was simple yet powerful and genuine. Now, I have the exact same feeling. I precisely understand him now why he feels the way he feels about music because now I feel the same way about acting.
I just had chicken ceasar salad for lunch. Then I had corn for dessert. I haven’t had ceasar salad for a very long time. But I love ceasar salad. So I don’t know why I don’t eat it that often. And I can buy it ready-made in a package in any supermarket. I don’t have to make it myself. So when I went shopping earlier this afternoon I saw it and bought it. It tasted yummy as always. Now when I go shopping I have to look for ceasar salad. I just completely forgot that this salad is one of my favorites. But then, I always walked past it every time in the supermarket – never thought of buying it till today. Now I know what I have to remember to buy when I go to supermarket. And the corn, I love it. I eat it like 2-3 Times a week.
Now my stomach is full, I will soon go out to the commercial dancing class. Look forward to it.
Fried chicken caesar salad. Love it!
Sweet corn for dessert.
Today, I will start going to yoga class again after a long break. I went to martial arts, yoga, and dance last year. Then I stopped because I wanted to concentrate on finishing my screenplay first. But it seems, it can take longer than I expect to complete and I begin to gain weight – out of shape – since I just stay home and write and eat. I do walk almost daily. But that doesn’t help much. So now, I have to start taking action before it’s out of control. I started attending martial arts last week. Then I attend dancing classes twice a week. Then now also yoga. I will not succumb to fat. That will be the last thing I will surrender myself to. So, I will do anything in my power to prevent that. Time to take action. After yoga class, then I will go to commercial dance class later today. I attend jazz and commercial dances every week. And I feel amazing. I also have to go buy martial arts outfit. I totally forgot about that. I found a shop that sells it not too far from Putney, actually. So, I will go there and have a look. I do different forms of exercises not only to gain new skills, but also to maintain my health. And actually, my wellbeing is more vital than new talents. So, first and foremost, I exercise just to stay healthy. All other things are just extras. And I feel great every time I have been exercising. It’s like my body tells me that I did the right thing. I always listen to my instinct and what my body tells me. And most of the time, they are right.
At yoga class.
I love fruits and peach is one of my favorites. I can eat it every day. It tastes so refreshing. So, I must have it for breakfast today instead of traditional breakfast, which I am so tired of it. Especially when the weather is so hot right now I can’t eat heavy meal. I like eating something light instead. So I eat fruits almost every day. I also make a smoothie and milkshake out of it. I just try to transform fruits into many different meals and desserts as much as possible, to create an invigorating variation of it. I just ate two peaches for breakfast. I might have two more after lunch as a snack, as well. I just can’t get enough of it. I choose to eat fruits as a dessert instead of cake, chocolate, coffee, candy, and the like. It makes me feel so healthy. And when I cook I like putting lots of vegetables in my food, too. And that’s why I love Thai food since every of its dish comprises of lots of vegetables. I wish I had a garden, so that I could plant my own herbs, vegetables, and fruits. That would be lovely. My mum did grow her own herbs, vegetables, and fruits, when I was young. So, we did have fresh produce to prepare our meals daily. I like living a bohemian, simple lifestyle – living with only the basics. I’m not a true Bohemian, though. That would be too extreme. I just adapt the parts that I think they are cool, such as fashion, creative thinking.
My healthy breakfast for today.
I love fruits!
Here’s a martial arts video from yesterday:
I went for a walk again this morning in a park near me. Whenever I don’t have to be on set I try to walk at least 30 Minutes a day. It’s nice and sunny today. I like walking in the morning, to exercise and get some fresh air. Then later on today, I also have to attend a martial arts class. Look forward to it. I am getting really busy now, having lots of meetings, networking, attending acting, dancing, and martial arts classes, including film festivals and more. So, I’m out a lot. I never stay still. I move myself around into many different areas and territories. I’m never afraid of coming out of my comfort zone. But, I have to play someone totally opposite my own personality in my own film, Escape from Death, which could be exciting. I like meeting new people and experiencing something new. So I enjoy networking and chatting with other actors, writers, filmmakers, etc. to exchange knowledge, experiences, and make new friends or connections. Therefore, I love this industry. You will never feel bored or lonely since you don’t have time for that. You will always have to move yourself around, meet new people, make connection, party, and so on. It’s a form of lifestyle. And I think, one of the reasons why some people love working in entertainment business because they like the lifestyle that comes with it. Unless, you’re an utterly introvert. But, entertainment industry is not really a place to be introverted. Of course, you can find some. But not that many, for sure. Most people would want to party, meet like-minded people, make new connections and friends, and enjoy the ride toward their goals. And I love it!
Wimbledon Windmil on Wimbledon Common, which is not so far from my place.
Wimbledon Common. What a lovely, sunny day today.
I didn’t go to dancing class anyway today. I first went to writing class (it’s actually a writing workshop, not an acting class as I said yesterday), which was very useful. My writing seminar finished at 13:30 pm and my dancing class started at 19:00 pm. So there were so many hours in between and I didn’t want to hang around in central London, just to wait for my dancing lesson. So I decided to go home instead. If I did walk around in central London waiting for my dancing class to begin I would walk up and down Oxford Street and spend all my money on fashion clothes again, which I didn’t want to. No more shopping new apparels for me until winter. The sale period still continues and everything is being deducted even further which tempted me to spend money on clothes that I don’t really need, so I must hurry myself home. I will go to dancing class next week instead. I attend dancing class twice a week anyway.
The writing class today was amazing. I knew this was something I really need. As an aspiring writer, I always look for ways to improve my writing skills. And I think, I have learned a lot today. I will put my new knowledge and skills to good use straight away tomorrow. The same with acting. Every week, I attend either a writing workshop or an acting class or both. And I begin to see that I gain more and more insight in these fields. I am serious about my writing, filmmaking, and acting careers. So, attending acting and writing classes regularly is a good investment in my future.
Now, I will find a good film to watch and relax. Good night!
Another photo from Brighton.
I love martial arts as much as I love dancing. I watch lots of action movies that contain martial arts fights. I also see a lot of music videos that have dance in it. I go to martial arts and dancing as a form of exercise and to gain new skills. And the choreography and technique are very much alike, I think. Both dancing and martial arts have to be choreographed, to achieve the lively, stylist fighting scenes – the same with dancing. So, by going to both dancing and martial arts classes, my moves improve. Fighting is like dancing in a way. You have to shift your body a lot – to the left, right, duck, jump, and more, to avoid being hit. Therefore, it’s pretty much the same like dancing. So they both naturally help elevate my tempos and steps.
Above is a video which assembles most of Tony Jaa best fight scenes. So, if you love martial arts you may find it both entertaining and inspiring.
At a martial arts class last year, doing boxing, kung fu, armed and unarmed fighting, sword & shield fight, and many more. I took a long break. Now, it’s time to go back.
I wear my new, white sport shoes already today with my favorite yellow, floral mini dress as my Friday outfit. I love them! They can go with all my outfits, actually. Comfortable to walk with, as well. I do have plain, cheap, white sport shoes from Primark. But they are not so comfortable to walk with. But I will not throw them any anyway. I will keep them when I have to work on sets. They have no logo. So, they are perfect for wearing on sets. And they’re cheap. If I lost them I’d not mind. Sometimes, I buy clothes and accessories from Primark just for working on sets. Then if I lost them, they got damaged, or even got stolen, then I’d not care. I actually lost my denim shirt on a film set that I bought from Dorothy Perkins a long time ago. I didn’t even notice it. I must have forgotten it when I changed my outfits. But, it’s okay because it’s not expensive. So, I do have a little bit more expensive apparels that I don’t bring them on sets. Then, I have cheap garments, mostly from Primark for use on film sets. Sometimes, cheap second-hand clothes.
Tomorrow, I have to attend an acting seminar and dancing class. Look forward to it. I already paid for the acting workshop, to commit myself to it. So I will have to go. Then, this Sunday, I will start going to martial arts class again. Can’t wait.
White sport shoes with floral mini dress, a denim jacket on top, a gold fairy-tale necklace, and a 70’s style bag. What a cute combination for a sunny Friday.
I went out and shopped my sport outfits today. I bought a pair of Adidas pants and shoes as well. I also bought a nice pair of second-hand jeans for just £5 from a charity shop, which I really like. The shoes, I will use with my normal clothes just for fashion, not for sport since I already have my sport shoes. The new shoes are just for a comfortable walk when I have to stroll around London. And I do walk around the city a lot. So I need comfy shoes to walk with. But at the same time, they need to look fashionable as well, so that I can wear them with most of my clothing. I can’t really wear my sport shoes for going out. But this new pair of sport shoes are more suitable to use as a fashion item, too. I like the plain white color of it. So I can wear them with most of my apparels.
I also went for a walk this morning before I went shopping. I walked to Wimbledon Village. I never took a walk to Wimbledon Village before. I always walk to Putney instead. So at first, I thought it would take me about 30-45 Minutes to walk to Wimbledon Village. But then, it only took me about 25 Minutes, which is even closer to Putney. It takes me about 30 Minutes to walk to Putney. Well, it is the same distance anyway then. 25 Minutes wasn’t that much of a walk. But then I went shopping, afterwards. So I did walk a lot anyway. I walked all day, actually. I just came home about 20:00 pm. I feel amazing now. I try to walk at least 30 Minutes a day and every day. And I will try not to skip it.
My new Adidas shoes and pants.
New second-hand jeans.